31
December
2006
Pan’s Labyrinth (del Toro, 2006) Spain
You know there’s something wrong with the world when a child’s paradise is the dark and sinister underworld. In this horrifying fairytale from the Spanish director, del Toro (who seems to be following Peter Jackson’s career path), a little girl - Ofelia, played with heartbreaking grace by a relatively newcomer Ivana Baquero - desperately hangs on to her imagination in order to cope with an inescapable situation she and her mother find themselves in.
Ofelia is a child on edge: she’s about to leave her childhood behind, as well as her old way of life, to enter an adult world where a man’s face could be smashed repeatedly with a bottle just because, where a potential guardian is more likely to use the back of his hand to hurt her than the whole of his arm to protect her. Her new father - the chilling devil-in-disguise played to perfection by Sergi Lopez - leads a government troupe in a mission to exterminate any remaining rebels still lurking in the woods after the Spanish Civil War. She is however warmly welcomed by the troupe’s caretaker - a woman of surprising strength and uncertain loyalty. In time, she would act as Ofelia’s godmother, with promises to take care of her the way her humiliated and defeated mother can not. Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: Articles
28
December
2006
Caché (Hidden; Haneke, 2005) France
Oh boy. Haneke really dropped a bomb on us with this sneaky picture. As with any psychological thriller that’s worth its price of admission, the thrill is beside the point. Although the ending leaves us hanging as to who the culprit(s) is (or are), what is even more astonishing is how the picture’s who dunnit plot serves as a major (and effective) red herring for the real purpose of the film. Class struggle and the contemporary guilt-free life of the smug privileged are the true issues the film wrestles with. To top it all off, Haneke threw in commentaries on life imitating art, the effect of media on perspectives, the pervasiveness and invisibility of the news media, and most impressively, the seamless transition between participants and spectators, as demonstrated by the uncertainty each scene creates in the audience. Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: Articles
24
December
2006
Special Report
By Elle They-Call-Me-Awesome A.
Toronto (Reuters) It is no longer enough to just send her flowers by the dozens or strum a song from your worn-out emo guitar. With the advance of the internet age, you need to be able to sweet talk in proper syntax, or you’d risk ridicule, a life of loneliness, or ending an online-turns-offline relationship. Relationship hunting in cyberspace has its obvious advantages, as discovered by freaks and weirdos everywhere. They find out very quickly that they’re no longer alone in their obsession over cubs and bears and whatnot.
“I remember the feeling of the unique connection we had, appreciating being able to get to know her more slowly and naturally, without feeling the typical pressures of conventional dating, or anything else I’d ever experienced,” said a man who recently got engaged to a woman of his virtual dreams whom he had only the image of Scarlett Johansson to go on with for months. (Another bonus of virtual dating: talking to a Scarlett Johansson is that much easier.) Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: Articles
9
December
2006
Standard City (Reuters) - A local politician will consider a proposal by an area woman to create Workolympic. The plan would involve setting up various stadiums throughout different cities for blue and white collar workers to compete with each other while spectators jeer or cheer them on.
“You know how people always complain how unfair it is that actors and athletes have such glamourous jobs and that they are way overpaid? And others would argue that because of the spectator-friendly nature of their jobs that they should get paid accordingly? Well I thought it was about time all of us normal workers have a venue where we can show off our skills and reap the benefits thus far exclusive to actors and athletes,” explained the area woman with the Anna Karina haircut. Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: Articles
6
December
2006
The problem with this review of David Lynch’s INLAND EMPIRE is that the film is so intricate that it probably should be seen twice. The problem with that theory is that though the movie held my interest for a single viewing, I don’t care to revisit it anytime soon.
On of the first lines of dialogue in the film, “I do not believe it will be much longer now,” sets up a three hour tease of spiraling ideas that proves frustrating. Whatever “it” is, it never seems to arrive – or we’re immersed so deeply in it we can’t see it. Image Alice falling down the rabbit hole…then falling down the rabbit hole…… then falling down the rabbit hole… then falling down the rabbit hole… and you’ve got a rough idea of the flavor of this film. After three hours of freefall, who cares what’s on the ground? Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: Reviews, Drama
